As all is well, this is the "final post".

Wiley and I just got back from Dr. Eichbaums Office, where his CT showes that he continues to heal and mend. In fact no further CT's are even scheduled. Just a follow up visit in 2 months time. Unimaginable, no doctor visits for 2 months!

Thank you again to everyone who supported our family, whether it was in a tangible way through food, logistics, time or the lending of your particular expertise. Or through the offering of your thoughts and prayers. I believe that they all made THE difference in Wiley's recovery.

We are forever changed by this experience.

He is one lucky kid and we are one lucky family.

Blessings,
Nancy, Tim and Wiley

Everyday stuff is, sometimes, a fabulous thing

On Monday, Wiley’s first full day as a high school freshman, he got back his first test grade since his return to school. Drumroll. It was algebra. Sharp intake of breath. Hold.

An A-. An A-!

On an algebra test. You can bet his parents were pretty happy when he gave them that news.

I’d say he’s pretty well caught up with that class.

Nancy said he came home from school all smiles on Monday. I bet he feels kind of like he’s got his life back, and he's pretty happy about it. (He has, overall, been enormously sunny of mood and charming in his recovery. In fact, Nancy said she was kind of reassured when he got annoyed by her prodding about when he’d work on his soon-due 5-paragraph essay. He is, after all, 14, nearly 15, and a little surliness is to be expected!)

Wiley’s on track to perform a few pieces with his school (ArtQuest) orchestra in their first performance, coming up October 2^nd, in the evening. He’ll be playing standup bass. (If you are interested in tickets, give her a call or drop her an e-mail; she’d be glad to arrange that for you.)

Not much else is newsworthy, really. Which is, in and of itself, of course, newsworthy.

As Wiley’s trajectory has started to rejoin with the daily life of nearly any boy his age, the whole drive for the blog has also started to fade into my own rejoined daily life and that of his family. It has become more sporadic, I’m sure you’ve noticed, as the news is more and more simply normal life. At Nancy’s suggestion, I’ll plan on one more blog entry for Wiley, after he sees his neurosurgeon this Friday. After that, I think we can all become part of giving Wiley his own life back. He can once again become his own publicist (I told him I had been fulfilling that role these last weeks), select by himself what becomes public, who gets to hear what. Return to being a 14-, nearly 15-, year old kid. Who just happens to be really tall and have a really, really big scar on his head.

And who has a heck of a lot of people just thankful that he’s around.

by popular demand...

Here is a picture of the three of us. This is the one we put on a thank you card and dropped by along with home-made choclate chip cookies to the Critical Care Unit, the Truma Ward and the ST/PT and OT departments at Memorial Hospital to thank them for taking such good care of our boy.

Who is that small person?

Off to LA to celebrate Tim...

Did you see that streak go by?

Wy-man is bumping up to full-time at school... on Monday!

He did a couple of short days at school this week, and the next thing I knew, Nancy was talking to the speech therapist about when he could be there full-time. Because he really wanted to be. While going back to school was a little tough, being the one that left early kept him a bit out of the usual daily experience of all his pals, and really didn't seem necessary -- to him. Nancy talked to the counselor at the school, who gently probed "Who wants this to happen?" because he wanted to make sure it wasn't Wiley's parents pushing for him to be back so soon. "HE does!"

Within another hour or so, Nancy panicked, wondering whether this was really the right decision. She called Kay, Wiley's speech therapist while he was in the hospital. "Is this a bad idea? Is it too soon? Should I make him wait?" "Nancy," said Kay, understanding the real nature of the anxiety, "You can't break him. He'll be ok."

So, Wiley's back in school, soon to be full-time. The first day, not all of his teachers knew his circumstance. (Information system failure.) His algebra teacher, in fact, informed him that he was going to get a D- because he had missed so much school. (I guess she somehow managed to overlook the major scar on his head.) A couple more days, and things are mostly getting sorted out. He's dropped Spanish for this year, and he can't blow a tuba until January, so orchestra class will have to be satisfied with standup bass playing by Wiley for awhile. He's meantime working away on his own time, too, striving to make up for lost time with some outside help from his private bass teacher. "But," he says, "that Bach concerto is really hard."

Wiley can see best on his left side, because his left eye has a hard time tracking to the right. So you mostly see that side of his face when he talks to you, and he needs to sit on the right side of the classroom to follow what's going on at the front. (Of course, since he started school late, and kids seem to get locked into their seats, he doesn't have a lot of choice about where he's ended up sitting. It's not always in the best spot.) His eye doctor does think that the vision issues will clear up, and if they don't, surgery could fix them. His eye issue and the scar are by far, so far, his biggest apparent souvenirs of this wild journey he's taken us all on -- and for that we can all be grateful.

I left him on the steps at 7:55 AM

We nominate neurosurgeon, Eldan Eichbaum, to be named the deity of his choice.

Best night's sleep I've had in a long, long, time.
Nancy

Hi ho, hi ho

...it's off to school he goes.

Six weeks to the day after his accident, Lightning Boy will be headed off to his first day of high school, just a little later start than everyone else. With one heck of a conversation-starter head scar readily visible under the buzz cut he's managed to grow out so far (as you can see in this picture of Wiley and Tim, taken Sunday afternoon just before Tim headed back down to LA for this week's work).

To prep, Wiley's racing gung ho through as much schoolwork as he can to be caught up. He is madly learning Bach's Brandenburg's Concerto no.3 on his bass -- as well as other pieces for Orchestra, but the Bach seems the most daunting. He's also catching up with English class reading (Life of Pi) and essays, completing the last 2 assignments for Algebra that he needs to be up to where the rest of the class is, and, last but not least, consuming World History, on which he has a test his first day(!). He's also been conferring with his lockermate, who rather assumed it would be a semester, at least, of not having to compete for space. Wrong!

This weekend was an especially full one. It luckily started with Tim and bro' Steve making it back from LA Friday night instead of Saturday morning, a welcome reprieve. That provided a good bit of room for Wiley to have friends over on Saturday, catching up with some he hadn't seen since the accident. Sunday, Wiley, Tyler, and Nancy plunged into making an enormous four batches of chocolate chip cookies, so as to be able to bring a treat with the thank you message they are delivering this afternoon to: the ICU where Wy spent 9 days; the Truama/Neuro floor where he had his own "room" and was made as comfortable as possible while awaiting his final surgery -- nearly 3 weeks; and of course the "homies" of rehab who worked with Wy in the hospital and made it possible to get discharged from the hospital to home, instead of an outpatient rehab center.

It's got to be pretty wonderful for all those folks to see a kid go from comatose and having an uncertain prognosis to a kid walking in, saying thank you with cookies he helped make, and telling them that he's headed off to high school tomorrow. Six weeks after he well checked in.

I'm sure it won't be an easy transition, dropping into high school as he is, but I bet he finds his feet pretty quickly. It seems to be his way.

Flyin'

DO read the post before this one if you haven't yet.

I don't know about Tim (as he's off at work in LA), but I would say Nancy is very nearly more wiped out now, after getting Wiley's big school news yesterday, than she was when it looked like Wiley would be at home indefinitely. There's just something in the relief factor of getting a clear answer ("he's gonna be ok") when you've been in holding-your-breath mode for 5.5 weeks straight. Wham. Straight to the gut. Knocks that breath you've been holding right out of you.

Despite his mom's post-traumatic state of shock, Wiley and I got quite a kick out of teasing her about her apparent brain damage when I stopped by yesterday: she couldn't for the moment recall the name of the movie they'd watched the night before. And really, it's only a good thing when your kid who came out of neurosurgery 2 weeks ago is smart-alecky all over again, just like a 14-year old should be. (My role in the tease can only be justified, maybe, by my great pleasure in being able to join Wiley in carrying it out.) Wiley was all smiles, clearly delighted himself.

Here's how the school-next-week news unfolded, more or less. Tuesday morning Wiley had a speech therapy appointment, his first since leaving the hospital. It was specifically intended as an "assessment," and was the one outpatient care service he was signed up for. After hearing nothing from the therapist, Nancy called her up the next day. "Well??? What do you think? When will he be able to go back to school?" "Oh," said the speech therapist, perhaps even a little puzzled, "I don't see any reason why he can't go back to school now." Wham.

Of course, his parents had already made plans -- since he wasn't in school -- to have him reschedule a day's tutoring and go on a little trip. Wiley and Nancy are to fly down to LA the weekend after this one to join Tim for the award-night screening of the short film "Ed Meets his Maker," for which Tim has won a Director of Photography award from the Directors' Guild (!! go, Tim!). They still get to go and all be together for the big night; Nancy and Wiley just won't be driving back on Monday as they had planned. Yes, Wiley got a green light to from the neurosurgeon to hop on a plane and fly.

Why let a little traumatic brain injury keep you earthbound?

Posting comments FIXED!

Somehow or another the blog got set to restrict the posting of comments to only certain folks -- sorry if that made it impossible for you to get on.

It's fixed now, I think -- please give it another try (even if you'd given up on it before).

Lightning Boy!

Okay here's the bottom line-
Wiley starts High School at Santa Rosa High School Tuesday, September 17th at 8:00.

He will leave after hangin' with his friends at lunch for now, but that is OK by him.

I think he would start tomorrow if he could figure out how.

Yep that is 6 weeks to the day since, I just can't say it his way, well since the accident.

The past 2 days he has jumped though all sorts of hoops; cognitive, eye exams, tutors etc. Left us all scratching our heads, applauding and well trying to figure out how to keep up with Wiley!

We are blessed. Thank you all.

I am going to try to stop crying now...

Whaddup?

“What’s the best thing about being out of the hospital?” That got a quick grin from Wiley. “It’s all pretty good.”

What does he most want people to know about him? That’s easy: that visitors are welcome. (His mom stresses that she still wants them pre-arranged and limited to a couple of hours, though, just to keep him from getting worn out.)

As you can see from the latest picture, he’s started into his studies already (and his hair is starting to come back in; the staples, which were on the other side of his head, are already out). He’s met with his tutor twice so far, and reports that she told him he’s already – in two 1-hour sessions – gotten through the first two weeks of material he’s missed, leaving him just a week behind. He’s also working with her on history and English. He’ll be meeting with her for an hour each weekday, and doing homework assignments between. Today he’ll be going to his first session with his not-at-the-hospital speech therapist, the only outpatient therapy he’s got planned.

He has had one bass lesson since he’s been home, and said he pretty much felt like he had to re-learn standup bass; he spent the lesson doing scales. It might be because he’s been playing it so much less time than his electric bass, which he’s picked back up quite readily.

For an even better sense of how Wy’s doing, check out the top link at the left – video from this weekend of Wiley, Tyler, and Tim performing a song Wiley’s been working on, “To say the least.” (“Did you start it before or after you ate it?” “Before.”) There’s just a short glimpse of Tim on drums at the beginning, and then the camera had to be perched above Wiley at the piano to capture him and Tyler (on sax) in action. The piano is all Wy. Even one-handed when he turns to call his dad in on drums, though the camera angle sacrificed showing his hands at work in favor of keeping his face in view.

His grandmother Esther reports with a grin that he’s “getting ornerier,” certainly a sign that he’s all the more feeling himself and not shy about letting people know when he thinks they’re being stupid.

Did I mention that he loves having visitors? (Yes, but please call first!, says Nancy.)

Wiley’s goal with school is to get back to it by the end of September, or certainly by the time of the Homecoming Dance, October 6. (“Though he’s thinking he might not go,” says Nancy. “Why?” “Well,” says Wiley, “I don’t know who I’d ask.” “Yeah,” commiserates his mom, “it’s kind of hard to meet girls when you aren’t at school.” “Aaww,” replies grandma, “with Wiley, it’ll take all of 10 minutes!” That produced a slow, broad smile from Wy.) None of the folks orchestrating Wiley’s treatment have even hinted that such a rapid return to school is in the cards, but Wiley’s counting on it. And working hard on his homework in an effort to make it happen.

Visitors? Did I mention visitors? “Especially,” adds Wiley, “if they bring cookies or ice cream.” (Wiley has been the recipient of an astonishing assortment of cookie deliveries, including some from Aunt Barb in Michigan, Aunt Donna in the south Bay, and the very first batch of cookies ever, made by a friend’s 8-year old sister. He also got, from another friend, the largest container of heavenly chocolate Haagen-Daz ice cream that anyone has ever seen.)

Luckily, he’s pretty good about sharing.

State of Grace

It's been a busy week since Wednesday, Wy's staples are out for one. Our much beloved blogger Betty Andrews will submit an entry tomorrow after an interview with Wiley and catch you up on the Wy happenings.

Speaking of Betty, many people have passed along what fans they have become of her writing as well as a deep appreciation for her effort and thoughtfulness in keeping up the blog. Last night my sister Donna told me she checks everyday to see what Betty wrote. Donna said she knows that at some point Wiley's story will have a happy ending, but she hopes Betty will keep writing about something because she is hooked.

Tim and I have been grateful for Betty's gift of blog as well, I think if it was up to us the blog would have said: Really, really scared. Really, really tired. Really, really scared. Which would not have been comforting to anyone!

Many nights I would drive home from the hospital (.9 miles) , uttered a few exhausted pieces from the day into the phone and Bet would manage to turn it into something quite manageable and reassuring. For those of you who wish to thank Bet personally her email address is betandrews@gmail.com.

Also, I feel a bit embarrassed about the name of the blog. Long ago, in July, when I named the blog it was as a "nod" to Tim's beautiful short film, "State Of Grace", which is nearly complete. Even as we have tended to Wy and the holding together of our life. Fellow filmmakers and friends have been working in their "spare" hours to put the finishing touches on "State Of Grace" so that the fall film festival schedule can be kept on track. Thank you to all of you.

Which brings me to my final but huge point, both Tim and I have come to realize we could never begin to thank the many kind and generous acts that have been lavished on our family. Please know they are felt and appreciated and contribute to our collective healing.

Tim is heading to LA even as we speak. He and Steve are back in the fall TV grove/grind having completed "Bottle Shock" with an all nighter Wednesday night. They will be working on "Greek" flying home Saturday mornings, leaving Sunday evenings. I know it is to hard to even imagine. Keep a good thought for exhausted Tim.

On a much smaller note, I know I am way behind on returned phone calls and emails. Even if it is simly to reach out and say "hi", know I want to and will.

Oh ya and Wy says, "Mom don't tell people not to visit me"! Okay, Okay he's right, no reason he can't hang with his pals. But maybe call first and lets keep it to 2-3 hours.

With great appreciation,
Nancy

The new normal

So what do you do when you are 14 years old and not in the hospital, but not in school like all your friends? And you have a honking big scar with a lot of staples snaking its way across your skull, and nearly no hair? And your life is now strangely divided into, in your own words, into “before I ate it” and since?

Well, you certainly enjoy doing not much at home with your family. You watch some TV. If you’re Wiley, you even go hang out with your cousin, mom and dad, aunt and uncle, at a wrap party in Sonoma for “Bottle Shock,” the film Tim and Steve have been working on. (The crew working on the film were tremendously accommodating and supportive of the family in these last weeks.) You go with your mom to buy clothes for school on the conviction that you will soon enough get to go there. You rest. You talk to friends on the phone. You visit with a couple of kids who got greenlighted to visit over the weekend. You update your MySpace page.

And you take out the trash.

Yup. And all without a helmet, with the neurosurgeon’s blessing. And to think, just a week ago, he was having his skull reassembled in the operating room, a week before that still struggling to walk unassisted. A week before that, in the ICU, out of it enough so that a laugh with his dad was a big development. A week before that – well, we won’t even think about that.

Today Wiley is meeting with an at-home tutor, the first step towards rejoining the rest of the kids in school – the schedule for which remains unclear. He will also today get to meet with his beloved bass teacher to start back in again on his music training. He’s hopeful that he will be able to catch up with the symphony class he’ll be joining in school, and maybe even able to participate in a performance later this fall. Through all of this, his doctors and therapists will be learning more about what will take some time for him. The good news is that there’s really nothing that’s come up for him that isn’t improving noticeably already.

Till then – well, there’s plenty of stuff to work on. And music to play!